How To Let Go Of Someone (Sometimes All We Need To Do Is Cut Off A Relationship)
Are you here to find a perfect solution to how to let go of someone? If you are looking for a simple solution like a magic trick to turn everything around, that cannot happen! But if you are looking for brilliant ways to practice which you can come out of the current situation, these ways are definitely going to help you in a long run. Let’s discover all the new methods to learn how to let go of someone.
We all have had an ex without whom we cannot imagine moving forward or a toxic friendship we have held on to for too long without getting the same response or with the truth somewhere deep down that they are not good enough for us, right? What do you do if you have one? We all just wait for them to realize things and show us the same love and appreciation of our affection. This happens mostly in fairytales and movies, life is partly rough friends.
Holding on to emotions and people in our life is a natural human instinct, it is sometimes so critical that we end up giving everything including our dreams and goals.
Letting go of someone we truly love is definitely among the toughest tasks but deep down you are I are aware, it’s for the greater good. You cannot stop the pain you feel after you let go of someone which eventually stops you but you can divert the pain into something else until everything sets in place.
Sometimes you might have to end things because the relationship becomes too toxic for both people to handle while sometimes your partner might have wanted to end things, either way, you need to learn how to let go of someone and move forward with your amazing life.
What makes letting go of someone so hard?
To learn how to let go of someone, you must know what is it that makes the process so difficult to practice. Why do we have so much trouble learning how to let go of some?
Holding onto things and people is among the 6 human needs because it fulfills our certainty. When we let go of someone we admire and love, we entail a great amount of uncertainty in our lives. Even if the relationship has almost ended and both the people in it know, it still feels comforting to be in it rather than ending it.
Even after you learn how to let go of someone, you still keep on bringing their topics and hold on to them for some reason, before going through how to let go of someone, make sure you understand the following points as they indicate the signs that you have not moved on and still require a lot of practice.
- You always wonder what could have been in the future.
- You keep thinking about that person.
- You spend tons of time reliving all the memories you two had.
- You bring their name again and again when having normal conversations with friends.
- Whenever you feel down, you feel like calling them.
- You make changes to your appearance and choices to get them back.
If you are still in this phase and do not know how to move one, here are some tips you could use and learn how to let go of someone.
How To Let Go Of Someone
1. Decide if the relationship is worth saving and know when it’s time.
The first step to a happy YOU is, to be honest with yourself. Ask yourself if the relationship is worth protecting again and again or is it good for the long run? This is not as easy as it seems while reading. Know that your partner is not perfect and that ic completely “OK”.
Clearly, every relationship has its own dynamics and is different from others. If you feel gaslighting is too much in your relationship, it is better to end it. If you experience gaslighting at work, find another job, if you experience it within your circle of rids, just change the people you hang out with. If the person gaslighting you is in your family, it can be difficult to break up.
You must know when it is high time and when you should leave the relationship to save yourself from destruction.
2. Feel the grief instead of running away from it
The hardest part of letting go of someone for all of us is feeling pain and grief. You cannot just throw away the pain or run from it, it only goes away when you honor it and experience it.
Sit down alone for few minutes in a day and soak all the feelings and things that have been running in your mind. Feel free to cry, crying is not a sign of weakness. Cry through all the five stages of grief. Like it or not, you must accept that the person is not good enough to be kept within your central circle.
3. End all contacts
Know that you cannot heal completely unless you all the person to get in your life again and again socially if the person was in a toxic relationship with you. If you do so, you will start doubting yourself and your decisions or you will again let your guard down after so many attempts and trials.
Deeket their email, phone number, all the social media accounts, and do not meet them in person even if they try to break you with the help of common friends. This is a great method especially when you are down and tempted to text them again in a weak spot. Discard all their pictures and everything that may connect you to them or remind you of them in your room.
4. Don’t fantasize
When you begin to cut them off completely from your life, you will notice certain changes within yourself. In this process, you might recall some of the time and memories you have with the person. It is human nature, you cannot push all the thoughts aside, you might deep down think that the person will change after seeing what you are going through. Maybe things needed time and now they will work out, recalling these thoughts? We feel you!
Know that things will not work out this time too and the person is not going to change. This is just your brain trying to calm the pain down. It is important to have a reality check and know that this is all a part of the hearing and it is absolutely common for most of us.
4. Practice forgiveness (for your sake)
At this stage, you really start digging deep down into the issue in your heart. All the events that happened in the past few days or months would have left a huge impact or wound that needs healing. To heal completely, you must forgive everyone including yourself.
Know that the other person is not always the one who was at fault, no one can control their feelings, we all are imperfect. Sometimes we might be at fault while sometimes others might be. Whatever the situation is, you need to forgive the other person by being in their shoes. You just have to recite this simple mantra “my pain is my own, I forgive you”. When you truly embrace this, know that the process has started working.
You must know that you cannot forgive people or heal by using this manta at once without emphasizing its importance to the core. Just invest all the time in yourself and be kind, compassionate, you will soon heal the wound.
5. Stop the blame game
It is human nature to blame others or point fingers at others instead of realizing our own faults. Most people start blaming their partner for everything that happened that eventually led to the ending of a relationship. Heartbreak is a terrible feeling to experience but do not let it stop you from being the person you were.
You cannot let all the bad experiences mess up with your future self. Instead of pointing a finger at others, analyze what was your mistake that led to mishappening and try to use it as a tool to make sure you never omit the same mistake in your future relationships. This helps you learn and two to eventually leading a happy life in a healthy relationship with your perfect match.
6. Spend time with close friends and family
This sounds utterly common but trusts me, it is the most important thing you can do after a heartbreak. Instead of throwing yourself at work, feel emotional and stick to people you love to help you out. Having other people you trust to confide in is very important. They act as an unbiased third party to help you figure out your mistakes and grow.
Holding all the heartbreaking emotions can turn into anxiety and when left as such may turn into depression. You don’t want a heartbreak to take you to such stages when it can be cured initially.
Talk to suporotve frieds. family, or even a therapist if needed. Once you commit completely to how to let off someone, there is nothing that can stop you.
7. Stay Busy
Deep down even you know that staying in your bed all day, eating all day inside the bed, or avoiding your friends and family is not something that will help you get over someone or help you learn how to let go of someone. It may seem pretty hard at first, but this is the way out. Start your day with empowering rituals and practice self-care.
Get involved in morning activities like yoga, workout, or journaling your emotions, You can also join groups for new projects or meet some o your friend at lunch. Staying busy will keep your mind off the things that may break you allowing all your wounds to heal.
8. Prioritize Self-Care
Ending a relationship with someone you have been together with for a long time or you loved to the core can have a serious toll on your mental health. This may lead to anxiety and depression-like health conditions. This is especially in people coming from a gaslighting situation in their relationship. Know that self-care is paramount.
By giving yourself time and focusing on yourself, you will feel utmost better and more capable of standing up for your rights and state. It helps to deal with all the harsh situations life throws at you. Problems wouldn’t get easier, but the way you’d deal with them makes a huge impact.
Write a gratitude list and practice being grateful more and more for every little thing life gives you. You may watch TED talks to get your set of motivation for the day. Looking out for yourself is the best thing you can do right now!
9. Rebound with caution
Don’t be afraid or have second thoughts or back out when it’s time to move on, but only when you have completely learned how to let go of someone. A queens college study reveals that people who rebound after their relationships tend to have more confidence and self-esteem and it helps them get rid of all the thoughts about their ex. This does not imply you have to rebound the next day to forget your ex. Take time, practice healing, and self-love. You will know when you are ready.
When you feel complete without anyone being in your life, you may find someone that handles your personality and complements it. Even if you find someone after a few months or weeks, do not take rational decisions in a hurry as they might lead you to the same heartbreak again. You might just want a shoulder to cry on right now due to which you rebound into a different relationship without realizing you love the person or not. It will not only leave you disheartened but the other person is going to feel the same you are feeling right now after realizing things. So take your decisions cautiously.
10. Seek professional guidance if needed
Sometimes people easily learn how to let go of someone and rebounds or involve in self-care and goals. But, it is not easy for everyone to do the same, especially for people involved in romantic relationships. If you have suspect anyhow that leaving your partner is not as easy as it seems, or if you have tried cutting them off completely and focusing on other things but still stuck with your past, seek out help from a therapist.
Make sure you visit a therapist who specifically has specialization to deal with relationships. They will help you define and have a deep look at what you are going through so that you get you can get past it. If you feel you need a therapist’s help for getting past your relationships, go for it without second thoughts!
11. Identify limiting beliefs
Do you ever get thoughts like-” I could never be alone” or “no one will love me”. When a relationship end, is common for everyone to go through such thoughts constantly. Know that these are just some thoughts ad, not facts, they are also recognized as limiting beliefs. These beliefs or whatever you belie has the power to shape your world (this is one reason why everyone asks you to remain positive and believe in yourself).
Replace sich negative beliefs with empowering ones that can help you know how to let go of someone. Practice believing thoughts like- “I am the best and I love myself no matter what”. This might sound silly for those of you reading it for the first time, but trust the process, it does work. When you use positive affirmations as a part of your routine, you will witness miracles and great results.
12. Master your emotions
It is extremely common to go through a lot of resentment, anger, and pain when your relationship ends with someone you love. This happens specifically in relationships you had no part in breaking. Maybe, at first, you might feel righteous about the decisions take by your partner and feel angry. This anger will help you move forward initially but after some time, it proves to become unhealthy for you and other people associated with you.
negative feelings and anger take a toll on your physical and emotional strength. Know that anger is also associated with poor heart health and leads to heart diseases affecting your future. Recognizing this bad behavior is the first step to learn to know how to let go of someone. It definitely takes time to control your emotions but once you do, there is no going back!
13. Practice empathy
Learning how to let go of someone can be painful and harsh as the person once brought you a lot of happiness. When you are learning ways on how to let go of someone, know that you must think of both sides of the story before framing an opinion. See the complete story from your partner’s point of view as well.
Try to look at the person with empathy and compassion as you did back when both of you were in a relationship. Though the person might have deeply hurt you, they might not have done it with intention or out of joy. They felt their needs were not completed in the relationship and decided to ed all the ties to improve their emotional state.
You need to be empathetic towards the other person before drawing conclusion and building anger in your heart for no reason as it may not have a significant impact don’t them but surely do on your state.
14. Avoid using social media
Learning how to let go of someone can be more difficult when you constantly see things that remind them about your ex. Though social media is a great way to stay connected with your close ones, it may not be a good option right now if you still are in touch with your ex. Staying off social media will help prevent seeing photos posted by your ex and other couples which may make you feel worse in the situation you are facing right now.
Social media might also make you miss the person after seeing seemingly happy couples posting from their vacations. They might constantly remind you of your partner. Although it may not seem an issue at your end, it may increase the time length of your healing by few months.
15. Trust the process
At last, trust the process. letting go of your loved ones or people you tough would be with you forever is definitely going to be painful and disheartening but it is important to acknowledge that this is short-term stress and anger. It will help you feel better in the long run and is worth going through.
Know that you must accept yourself at this moment and forgive others for their deed. As time passes by, you will learn that not all the things will go as you have planned them, because they mostly do not go like that. Remember the plans you made with your school friends, did you ever meet them as planned? Things are not always as you want them to be and that is completely OK! If you become aware of everything happening in your past relationships, it will help you get better with your future relationships as most probably you will know what wrong you have done.
Do not pressurize yourself to get better and heal within a day or overnight whether you are the one ending things or your partner does.
A study published in 2007 in the Journal of positive psychology reports that most people rebound after 3 months of their breakup. Researchers observed 155 participants who had gone through rough breakups in the past 5 to 6 months. All these people were in long-term relationships. They found out that 71% of these people felt extremely happy and grateful for the relationships to end after 11 weeks of their breakups. Relationship experts agree that you should et yourself cry, grieve, and take about it to other people.
Give yourself few months to heal completely. To help yourself move on, cut off all the ties from your partner and stop cyberstalking once and for all. Use this time to learn the positive outcomes of the relations and how you can get better in the future.
Know that denial, bargaining, anger, depression, and acceptance all are a part of the process and completely normal. Also, it is very important to know that all the people out their grieves differently, you might have seen some of your friends get over their relationships easily while some may take months to heal without getting another relationship. Just like pain and grieving, healing is also a part of the process.
Take all the time you need, although most people get over their past relationships in 3 months, know that it is not a benchmark set for you. Take one thing at a day to avoid making unnecessary expectations and then going through disappoints after not completing the task.
Allow yourself to experience the loss fully because the truth is, there are no quick fixes to come out of a relationship, all it needs is TIME TO HEAL.
Remember that refusing to leave and let go of the person will not bring them back in your life or it will not make things go back to normal. When you decide to hold on even if the relationship has ended months ago, will only hurt you physically and emotionally. Just embrace all the aspects and other relationships f your life as uncertainty can be wonderfulwhen you change your perspective. Just live and let go…
When you successfully learn how to let go of someone, there is a happy life waiting for you to step into.